I have been doing therapy for many years now, 5 or 6. I don’t know how much I spent, at least 30,000$. I tried so many things, SO MANY. There is one concept, one element that keeps coming back in people’s mind towards my situation: Moving On.
I know now, from experience that moving on is nothing but a mental trick. Where do you want to move to? Where is the pain in the first place?
Generally speaking the pain is inside of you. You’ve captured it, wove a thread of thoughts around it and disallowed it to flow through. It occupies space inside of you. Then once in a while, you have a trigger, a situation, something happens and the pain is awoken again. These situations are generally exterior and no matter how much effort you put into controlling the reaction, YOU are not reacting. The disallowed part of you is. And since you disallowed it in the first place, why would it listen to you? It will not. And it will keep reacting. Until the day where you gather enough courage to face it, to ALLOW it into your being. To liberate it, to let it flow.
So back to moving on. If the pain is inside, it occupies space in you, where are you going to move to? Outside of yourself, so the pain doesn’t affect you anymore?
It sounds funny, but this is exactly what people do. They keep their conscience so busy, so occupied with external events, actions, people, situations, stresses, the future, etc that they effectively have moved on. But is the pain still inside? Yes. You have simply MOVED OUT. Sure there is less reaction to the pain inside, it isn’t even triggered anymore because your focus have moved completely outside.
Therapy, healing happens when you MOVE IN. Not out. So for the hundreds of people who’ve put pressure on me to move on, including many psychologists, I say NO WAY. I’m not moving on, I’m moving in.
That’s it for today.